What is your relationship with food? Do you comfort eat? Do you eat when stressed? Do you become anxious about eating or not eating?
Eating is a basic human physical need but a lot of us try to fulfil a subconscious need with food. A need to fill up an emotional hole inside ourselves. Once a baby arrives you are so busy and tired that your own needs often take a back seat and bad habits around food can quickly develop. I have to admit that lately I have got into some bad habits myself.
In my childhood my mother always doled out huge portions on our plates, and waste was a terrible crime – starving children in Africa etc. Guilt and my mother’s own anxiety levels meant I always felt I had to eat everything. I consciously nag myself now to be aware of my unhealthy ingrained relationship with food. I struggle to allow my family and friends to choose for themselves how much food they have on their plates and not to pile too much food on if I am serving up myself. I always make too much food because I am anxious that there will not be enough. I have to remind myself not to put too much on my own plate because once it is there I still feel I have to eat it all! If I am hungry I feel anxious and have to remind myself that it is quite normal to feel hungry. I suspect I am not alone with these feelings.
I started off giving my children small portions but as they grew the portions I gave them started to grow and that seemed OK to me. My daughter has always eaten quite a small amount - another source of anxiety! She refused to eat anything at all if there was too much on her plate so I had to learn to give her the amount SHE felt comfortable with, and that made me conscious of the amount everyone else wanted too. My anxiety around food comes directly from my own childhood and I can’t seem to shed that anxiety completely. My children eat quite healthily now but I am aware that I may have transferred some of my anxiety about food onto them.
Think about how you eat. How many of these statements are familiar?
I think of food when I am stressed as a reward for all the stress I have to put up with.
I use food as a comforter when I am not hungry.
I eat alone rather than in company.
I eat standing up.
I finish off food from the children’s plates.
I graze throughout the day and when I am cooking so I never feel hungry.
I associate relaxing with a drink and a packet of crisps that sometimes escalates into a family pack or a whole bar of chocolate or biscuits.
I am aware that once I have consumed certain foods I find it difficult to control further eating.
If you recognise any, or some of these statements in yourself, here are some things to think about.
What are the trigger foods that make it difficult to stop eating? The most common trigger foods are likely to be sugar (especially chocolate) and white flour. Eating can become a quick fix for an emotional emptiness, but the benefits do not last. If you are putting on weight from bad eating habits and not exercising, your self-image and self-esteem are likely to be affected negatively. Diets tend to result in yo-yoing weight which encourages us to link our body image to our self-esteem with the subconscious belief that if only we could lose that excess weight we would be more attractive, more confident and happier.
Give yourself a structure for your food intake. Make some decisions and plan how, when and where you eat.
Eat only at meal times at the table, if possible with others.
Plan your healthy balanced meals and when you will eat.
Drink a glass of water before eating, or between meals, sometimes we confuse feelings of hunger with thirst. Drinking a glass of water also takes the edge off your hunger.
Do eat breakfast. Some protein like porridge or an egg takes longer to process and keeps you going until lunch.
If you feel desperate for something to eat in between meals make sure you have fruit in the fruit bowl to snack on. If you don’t want fruit what would you like? - a yogurt/Ryvita etc. Make sure these snacks are on your shopping list.
Take some fruit/nuts (whatever works for you) with you when you go out so you are not tempted to buy chocolate/crisps etc.
Be aware of your choices. Don’t choose fizzy sugary drinks/chips etc.
Don’t chew gum – this makes your saliva flow and your stomach expect food.
Try to make time to add more exercise into your day. Could you walk to school/preschool? Could you walk to the shops with the buggy? When the children are settled in the evening, or when your partner is home, consider something like swimming, badminton, keep fit class once a week. I go swimming with a couple of girlfriends every week and we encourage each other to go so we have got in the habit of going and miss it when we can’t go. We miss the social time and catching up with each other as well as the exercise. I sleep really well when I have been swimming and have more energy the next day.
It is really important to be honest with yourself about your food intake. Taking control of your eating means being aware of meals and all the little bits of this and that finding their way into your mouth during the day. In times of excess it is scary to think back over your day and realise how much you have consumed. Healthy eating patterns are habit forming as well as exercise, which with practise, will begin to feel natural and make you feel good in yourself as well. In time your body will adjust and you won’t be thinking about food in such an emotional way. Getting yourself on a healthy eating programme is one thing, maintaining it is another. There will be slips, especially in emotional times, but setting up healthy habits with food now will give you something to return to that you know will work for you.
Michael Jackson encouraged us all to start with the man (and woman) in the mirror and make that change. I am making that commitment today – what about you?
What works for you? Please comment, I would love to hear from you.
